Riverdale: Chapter Twenty-Six – The Tell-Tale Heart

Riverdale – Chapter Twenty-Six: The Tell-Tale Heart | Season 2, Episode 13 | Rating: 8/11 |

Jughead, Betty, Archie, Veronica & Kevin

Our morally good people of Riverdale have taken some wrong turns in the past. They’ve even taken some really wrong turns we weren’t sure they would be able to come back from but, after tonight, it seems like a lot of them have sunk the last nail in the coffin of their righteousness. In an odd twist of events, the only person who still seems to have some kind of moral compass left is Cheryl. Let me explain…

If we all remember everything clearly, the last thing we saw in Riverdale was Betty’s mother, Alice Cooper, dealing with a dead body on the floor and trying to clean up a lot of blood. I’m sorry to say that things don’t get any better for the Cooper women. Alice refuses, point blank, to get the cops involved for fear they will take away her son whom she doesn’t even know. To complicate the matter, Betty’s father Hal needs to come over and pick up some stuff. This means Betty (who already volunteered) gets roped into helping her mother clean up and dispose of a dead body. They somehow manage to get the place cleaned up before Hal arrives and – although he is suspicious – he comes and goes rather quickly and without too much of his usual fuss. After dumping the body in an old, abandoned drainage pipe, a frantic night of cleaning ensues.

Although Alice seems fine with everything that’s happened, Betty is not holding it together so well. She went back to check on the dead body (not smart, Betty) and found the dead guy’s phone. Apparently, he was a drug dealer and Chic lied about how he knew the guy and about contacting him a few days prior. Understandably, Betty is upset that her brother whom she brought into the family is lying to them. Betty finally breaks down and tells Jughead everything that happened and he even helps Betty dispose of the dead guy’s car in some swampy body of water. It’s hard to pinpoint at what moment Betty realized she was out of her league, but she finally convinces her mom that they need help with any loose ends they might have missed, so they enlist the help of Jughead’s dad FP Jones. Mercifully, he agrees to help and buries the body with some lye in a grave in a wooded area. Hopefully, the body will dissolve quickly and so will their worries.


Over in the land of bad choices for good reasons, Archie is being squeezed by this FBI guy/Agent Adams as he continues to press, harass, and even threaten Archie for information on Hiram. While Archie mostly does what he’s told and passes some information, Archie has decided not to betray the trust of Hiram. Things come to a head when the FBI guy threatens Archie’s dad with an investigation of undocumented labor and directs Archie to plant a bug in Hiram’s office or else. After deciding the threat of the FBI guy was greater than Hiram, Archie meets with Hiram and confesses everything, asking for help for his father. Hiram assures Archie that the matter will be taken care of and not to worry. After a late at night summons from the family’s driver, André, Archie is driven out to meet the boss somewhere secluded. It’s an ominous feeling that makes us wonder what will happen to Archie, but it turns out he’s meeting Hermione Lodge. She explains that there was no real FBI guy and he was brought in to test Archie’s loyalty and he passed. I guess that’s one way to be welcomed into a mob family.

Mayoral Troubles:

Agent Adams

Things aren’t going so well for Mayor McCoy. Between being confronted by Jughead about the common link between all the Southside properties and her current puppet masters (aka Hiram and Hermione Lodge), she’s feeling a little stressed. Things reach a breaking point when Hiram and Hermione discuss moving up the timeline of their plans for the properties they’ve been buying under the table and Mayor McCoy flat out refuses to play ball. Thankfully, Veronica goes to Mayor McCoy and warns her about her parents’ imminent plans to disgrace her. This, in turn, gives Mayor McCoy the power and – to use Veronica’s words – “inoculate” herself. Sadly, this means that Mayor McCoy is no longer the mayor but, thankfully, she avoids the massive scandal that could have been had her affair with Sheriff Keller come to light. At least she can still open up a law practice.

Other Troubles:

Apparently, Hal has been a regular visitor at Thistlehouse and Cheryl is not at all happy about it, seeing as he’s a married man and all. She confronts her mother about her new courtesan ways and the fact that she’s ruining families. According to her mom Penelope, Hal is not just a client; it’s real love. Cheryl is more than a little disgusted by the whole matter and after catching Hal sneaking in one night, Cheryl tells him to go home or she will tell Betty where he’s been staying. The whole thing is kind of moot since Cheryl outed Betty’s father’s actions to her at school the following day.

Jughead & FP

Other Notes:

  • Veronica managed to get a sit down between her father, Hiram, FP, and Jughead to hopefully settle things between the communities. As a show of good faith, Hiram offered to pay the back rent owed by the residents of the trailer park with the condition that Jughead keep Hiram’s name out of the exposé he’s writing. No dice.
  • Cheryl practices archery. That’s pretty cool.
  • Veronica lied to her dad about giving Mayor McCoy a heads up. Good girl.

Favorite Quotes:

  • This isn’t high school.” (Hiram)
  • “Said the man who just vandalized a park statue.” (Veronica)